A Tribute to Resilient and Feminine Women: Breaking Free and Thriving

Image by freepik on Freepik

A Mother’s Influence

Long after my marriage ended—when I was well past the grief stage and onto acceptance—my African mom playfully teased me. She said that my ex went out hunting for a girl and ended up picking an elephant. We both burst out laughing. Moments like these with my kind and gentle mother still linger in my mind. She has always been a wholesome parent, giving me enough space to express myself while applying just the right amount of firmness without ever forcing my hand.

I don’t even think my mom ever spanked me. She scolded me when necessary, but that was about it. My dad, on the other hand, always played the bad cop role—he was our main disciplinarian. Yet, I always felt respected by my mother while growing up, something that shaped my self-perception in ways I would only later understand.

Breaking Free from Cultural Conditioning

Like many women, I was culturally conditioned to be agreeable to a fault and quiet above all else. I have shrunk myself countless times just to avoid bruising the ego of a man. I have remained silent, inadvertently perpetuating an oppressive system that relies on women’s silence in the face of injustice. But when I broke free—when I exposed myself to the ideas of confident men who have done the work, men who are not deeply insecure or fragile in their masculinity—I knew I was free to fly. My little wings, once clipped, were now released, and I could soar to whatever heights I chose.

Sharpening the Mind: A Woman’s Greatest Asset

My petite frame did not discourage me because I could count on my beautiful God-given mind. I made a conscious decision to sharpen it, to become a mental heavyweight who could stand firm in any storm. So when I fell into crisis, I wielded the power of my mindset and thoughts. I am equipping myself with values and beliefs that are transforming me into a soft yet formidable, feminine yet strategic woman. Rooted in my foundational biblical values, I expanded my understanding by exploring different perspectives. Since childhood, I had always been perceptive and enjoyed learning, so challenging harmful narratives became second nature to me.

The Rise of a Stronger, Fearless Me

As I’ve grown and shaped my mind with ideas centered on resilience, self-respect, and growth, a much stronger and fearless version of me has surfaced—a side I never knew existed. A side that delivers playful, witty, humorous yet savage and precise comebacks when needed. Anyone with bad intentions hates to see me coming😂. Because I will engage all my mental capacities to logically deconstruct and dismantle any nonsensical lies or manipulative ideas, ensuring that my words land with precision. Sometimes, I weave in just enough wit to make them second-guess what is even happening, leaving them unsettled and exposed.

I have been called difficult, stubborn, even a man—simply because I stand up for myself. My favorite response was when someone told me I should be a lawyer. I flipped it back and said, ‘No, I want to be a magistrate so I can oversee the lawyers.’ Other times, I have held back emotionally, refusing to be triggered or give someone the satisfaction of an emotional reaction. It has been a long journey, and now that I’m here, I will use my voice for the women who never get the chance to break free from the little cages they are placed in.

Transforming Pain into Power

Like alchemy, I have transformed negativity into fuel for my growth. Every insult, every moment of doubt, every attempt to undermine me—I have turned them into stepping stones. The pain that once sought to break me became the very fire that refined me. Instead of allowing negativity to consume me, I have channeled it into wisdom, self-improvement, and unshakable confidence. I no longer see obstacles as roadblocks but as raw material to shape my resilience. Just as alchemists sought to turn lead into gold, I have taken my struggles and forged them into a powerful force propelling me forward. Whatever is meant for harm, God can use it for good. 

One verse that continues to encourage me is the one that speaks about how, in the last days, there will be no genuine love. However you interpret that is up to you, but for me, the last thing I want is to live my life expecting constant validation from others. I refuse to chase after people or things that were never meant for me.

The Threat of a Self-Aware Woman

God forbid a self-aware and emotionally intelligent woman exists. All the creeps come out of the woodwork to tear her down. A woman who can see through a man and predict a man’s moves and avert them or mirror them. She becomes the ultimate challenge. You would think that they will scurry away but in their sick twisted minds they take it upon themselves to break her spirit. But if you’re not being attacked, you’re probably playing it too safe. In my culture, a happy and thriving woman is labeled with all kinds of slurs. How dare she be happy? How dare she have a husband or partner who supports her? If a man is good to his woman, he is called weak. If a woman thrives, she is called an ‘iron lady.’

Men in my culture grew up seeing their mothers endure endless abuse, constant emotional turmoil, yet still expected to care for everyone—some even being the breadwinners. So, a happy woman is an anomaly to them. Sometimes, when I’m out running errands and I catch a glimpse of a woman with her child—especially one from my own culture—tired, sullen, carrying that familiar look of someone who barely has time for self-care, I wonder if she is enduring like our mothers did. That look is all too familiar.

I should make point that God himself did not create enmity between men and women but the fall of man led to all these oppressive systems. So the ultimate enemy is not the man it is the accuser of men, the Devil.

Women: The Backbone of Society

While lots of men elsewhere joyfully invest in their women’s well-being, too many others take and take, reducing a woman to a shell of what she once was. So, in commemoration of Women’s History Month, this is a tribute to all the women striving to create something for themselves. Whether you are thriving as a single mother, a stay-at-home mom, a career woman, or juggling multiple roles—through the toil and hardships, never forget the bigger picture: without the contribution of women, economies would collapse, and humanity itself would be extinct.

Even with the increasing demand for women to provide financially, we are still raising our children and keeping the hearth warm at home. The burden is undeniable—being both breadwinners and caregivers—but somehow, God gives us the grace to carry on. Yet, the effects are visible. Women are having fewer children because we can only do so much. Studies have shown that in many countries where women are expected to balance work and childcare with minimal support, birth rates are steadily declining. The stress of juggling multiple roles, coupled with economic pressures, has made many women reconsider motherhood or opt for fewer children. Overworked women and dysfunctional homes are becoming the norm.

Choosing Wisely for the Future

To aspiring mothers and wives, I hope you choose a man responsible enough to take on the role of a provider. And if you ever find yourself in a crisis where you need to provide as well, I hope he steps up in the home—helping with the children, being emotionally present as a father and husband. When a man truly steps up, homes and societies thrive.

Raising Strong Men

And for our sons, may we teach them to be strong men, because true fulfillment comes not from hedonistic pleasures, laziness, or procrastination, but from purpose and responsibility.

Happy Women’s History Month!

A Final Thought

Like wildflowers growing through cracks in concrete, you continue to thrive—undaunted, unshaken. You bloom in places not meant to nurture you, bringing beauty, strength, and life to the world around you. You are not just surviving; you are flourishing, despite the odds. Take your flowers, for you deserve them, not just today, but every day.

Image by wirestock Freepik.

“Featured image credit: [freepik] via Freepik.”